Telling Your Partner You’re Solosexual

When to tell them you’re solosexual

Ultimately there is no perfect time to tell someone anything about your sexuality. It will probably always be a tough conversation, especially if you are nervous or concerned about how they may react. This being said, timing is everything. You probably don’t want to blurt it out on your first date, but you also shouldn’t wait until you’ve been together for 10 years either.

When you bring this topic up will be largely determined by the unique circumstances surrounding your relationship. What’s most important is that you feel safe, secure, and confident in yourself when you do finally decide to take the leap!

Prepare Yourself

You should expect a wide range of emotions in reaction to coming out as a solosexual. Many people will have not heard of it at all and they may have a lot of questions. It’s possibly that your partner may worry that you aren’t attracted to them or that this is an indication that you are unhappy in your relationship. It’s important that you educate yourself and fully explore your feelings about your sexuality so that you can help reassure your partner.

Since solosexuality is so niche, it may help to compare it to asexuality. There is way more information online about asexuality, in fact, many people consider solo’s to be under the asexual umbrella.

If you are unsure of what to say, this site has some scripts you can use to think of the right words!

The Breaking Point

Sadly, there is a possibility that this will be a deal breaker for your partner. Depending on you and how willing you are to engage in sexual activities you might find that they need more than what you can provide. I urge you to take this not as a condemnation of your sexuality, instead recognize that you simply weren’t compatible. This happens. It’s always better to find out sooner than later so that you both can find more suitable partners.

Bringing it all together

It is never easy to be vulnerable with another person. It’s scary, and it doesn’t always turn out like you’d hope. The good news is that the benefits of living your truth and being honest with your partner far outweigh the temporary pain that can arise.

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