Advice,  relationships

The Harsh Truth About Your Small Penis

Recently I received a message from a man that was in extreme distress about the size of his penis. After exposure to years of porn, snide comments in society, and internet forums about the ills of having a small dick he was left wondering if there was any hope for him: “Most of the time I feel deformed and less masculine to suicidal levels because of this.”

We spoke for a while that night and eventually I discovered something surprising. This man didn’t have a micropenis or even a small one; he was completely average. So why does he, and a growing number of men, seem to be suffering from this new form of body dysmorphia? Does size really matter as much as we think it does?

Size Matters

I used to be the champion of “size doesn’t matter”. I would roll my eyes when I’d see guys worried about it- don’t they know that a vast majority of women don’t orgasm from penetration (assuming they’re straight- I don’t really have the right experience to speak on gay relationships)? It’s not about the size of the boat, but the motion of the ocean. And plus there are sex toys that will please your partner way more than a penis of any size ever could.

Lately, this notion that size doesn’t matter has started to change. While it’s true that penis size isn’t the end all be all of a relationship or even of a sexual experience it would be disingenuous for me to assert that size doesn’t matter when there are men that suffer constantly from the negative messaging surrounding small to average size cocks.

The truth is penis size matters a lot. It can affect every facet of a person’s life and most of these negative effects occur outside of the bedroom. My hope is to explain why it matters and what can be done on the individual level to make it matter less.

Society and the Media

I would challenge anyone reading this right now to take some time and really think about how often we hear negative messaging about a man who is small. You can barely go a week without seeing it in TV shows and songs. Social media is filled with trends meant to mock a small stature; Tik Tok currently has a popular song going around about how they don’t want a “shriveled little short dick man”.

If you are growing up in today’s world you are going to be constantly bombarded by seemingly the whole world telling you that no one wants a man with a small penis. Your entire masculinity seems to be tied to the size of what you’re packing between your legs. It’s likely that if you have a penis, you started hearing this from such an early age that you don’t have the critical thinking skills to combat this ridiculous notion.

Instead, these insults and put down’s thrown around in popular culture become internalized as the truth.

Beliefs Shape Reality

So, you’ve gone through the small penis shame indoctrination and you have decided you have a small penis. Okay, sure. But shouldn’t you realize that the other things about you can lead you to a happy relationship and sex life? Personality is ultimately more important right? It’s a little more complicated than that.

If you have (or think you have) a small dick you have been told you are inferior. You’re a beta male, a loser, completely emasculated. Women will never be satisified by your puny prick. This insecurity can begin to seep into every aspect of your life. It may lead you to be even more harshly critical of your looks and damage your confidence in social situations. After all, it’s already been decided that you’re worthless.

Why would you try to put yourself out there if you know you’ve been dealt a losing hand? While other men are having real world experiences with their romantic interests, making mistakes, learning, and readjusting their social skills some men that are insecure about their size withdraw. They stop, or never start, trying to date or even interact with women.

This avoidance can lead to a snowball effect and self-fulfilling prophesy. If you are not learning how to communicate with other people the older you get the harder it is to start. The harder is is to start the more likely you are to give into the defeatest voices in your head. Then, when you do try to engage in flirting your only references for what to do are from tv shows, movies, or stories from other men that are almost never accurate representations of what an interpersonal relationship is like. And when these well-intentioned attempts fail… well I know I would be more likely to retreat even more into my world of isolation if I were them.

Now… can you completely connect the dots between our obsession with penis size and incel-dom? Maybe not. But it can’t be completely unrelated.


Some of the biggest offenders and propagators of small penis humiliation (not the sexy kind) are women. It’s my personal opinion that this is because women have very few ways of exerting power over men. When women have been slighted by a man it is unlikely that we can punish them physically or emotionally (although I don’t subscribe to punishing people, but I recognize that taking the high road can be difficult). The easiest and most effective thing to do is target their masculinity in one of two ways: undermining their heterosexuality and insinuating that their penis is small and unsatisfactory. I would bargain that 99% of the time that you hear a woman talking shit about their exes dick they don’t really care about that at all, and underneath it all they just wish they’d had their emotional needs met.

This leads to another question: Do women want a big dick? A lot of them may think that they do. There are a few reasons for this, the first being that women fall victim to the same messaging about size as men do. They are uneducated and believe that a bigger dick will equal more pleasure. Is that the case though?

The truth is that the vaginal canal is at maximum arousal around 4.75″ long. At the end of that 4.75 inches is the cervix which doesn’t even really have nerve endings. If you are bashing into the cervix over and over the only thing she will be feeling is pain. In fact, the g-spot is within the first third of the vagina…aka within the first two inches.

The key to giving pleasure in penetrative sex is not having an eight inch hog. It’s the angle. A simple pillow under the hips will increase a woman’s pleasure probably ten times more than any change in size will.


Ah, porn. My love, you have given me so much to smile about throughout the years. In this area though, you are flat out not helping.

Men in porn have abnormally huge dicks. I love them. I marvel at their size and veininess almost like I marvel at new cgi effects in a blockbuster movie. Like the movies, though, I understand that not everything is as it seems and sometimes it’s a flat out lie.

Do real women scream in pleasure by a 10″ cock stabbing into them without lube over and over for 30 minutes? No.

Do real men maintain an erection for a 45 minute session (which in porn adds up to probably 2 hours of shooting)? No.

Do real men cum on command, no sooner or later than required? No.

NEITHER DO THE MEN IN PORN. These guys are medicated to sustain erections and have developed tricks over time to last. While their dicks may be naturally big, everything else about the scene down to the woman’s pleasure is artificial. It is okay to enjoy this. It’s perfectly fine to be turned on by seeing these monster cocks slapping against a woman’s face. The issue comes when you convince yourself that it’s a reflection of real life- men and women included.

I wanted to take some time in this section and acknowledge my own contributions to porn cock adoration. In many of my videos I have mentioned how good big dicks look and other similar statements about size. Hopefully I’ve made it clear here that I don’t really care about that, but I still say it. The reason for this is simple: the men in my niche, the ones that buy my videos, like to hear it. That’s it.

In reality, I don’t even watch scenes about fucking. This may come as a surprise but this solosexual girl does not get turned on by intercourse. Even in the blowjob videos I watch it is way more about the girls eyes, passion, and amount of drool than the dick. Anything I say in my content is because I want to turn the viewer on- that’s what gets me hot. So sometimes I embellish in ways that I am now realizing may be harmful. I truly apologize for that.

What Does it Mean?

As a woman I am bombarded constantly with ideas of what I should be. Thin waist, thick thighs, big breasts, under 150lbs, clear skin with not too much makeup so I don’t look like a whore but enough so that I look like I “care about myself”. I shouldn’t cuss because that’s not ladylike, but I should cuss because if I don’t I’m a goody goody. I should fuck every guy that wants it to avoid being a prude, but also I should never have sex because that would make me a slut. I think you get the picture. How the fuck does this relate at all to penis size? I’ll tell you:

There comes a point in everyone’s life where you have to give up. No, not on living or happiness, but give up on trying to be what other people think you should be. You have to understand that the ideas you hear in society don’t represent the majority of people and definitely don’t reflect the facts of any situation. The minute you start a thought with “all women” “all men” or “all people” you are already wrong. There just is no one size fits all desire out there past the desire to eat food and drink water.

If you are someone that struggles with their size I would advise steering away from media where you will potentially be exposed to shaming. It is easier said than done, but you can probably guess which types of shows and movies have a higher chance of making dick jokes than others. Unsubscribe from those subreddits filled with horror stories about shitty women’s reactions to small dicks. Stop seeking out forums that do nothing but affirm your fears and if you do find yourself down the rabbit hole try to remember: even huge sites like Twitter only have 4% of the worlds population online. Why are you letting yourself believe that the opinions of random people define you?

Additionally, try to focus less on your shortcomings (especially what you can’t fix) and more on the things that you can actually change. Work on yourself to improve your physical and mental health. You will be surprised how many more people are attracted to you once you own who you are and escape the cloud of insecurity that you are trapped in. People can sense when you hate yourself.

For people without penises or for those that don’t suffer from shame about their member I think it’s important for us to be conscious about our contribution to this shaming. Stop going along with the jokes, they truly aren’t funny or original. Put your foot down about it the same way you would if someone were mocking a disabled or fat person. None of us exist in a vacuum and we all have the opportunity to change things. You never know which man or young boy could be listening.

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