Advice,  Fetish,  Masturbation

How To Get Your Girlfriend Into Edging and Gooning

The number one question I get asked when men see that I’m a gooner girl is “How can I make my girlfriend like you??”. While it takes many years of self-brainwashing, hedonistic tendencies, sarcasm and a natural perversion to end up with a girl like me I think I have some tips on how to get your girl into edging and gooning. There’s even a chance that my advice can help you when introducing your partner into other kinks as well! 

Photo by lucas da miranda from Pexels

Set Your Expectations

It is helpful here to think about why you want this. Are you hoping to add an element of fun into your sex life? Are you hoping this will change your girlfriends views about sex and porn? Are you thinking “If only my girlfriend were an edged out horny slut all the time then we wouldn’t fight so much?”
Obviously edging and gooning are awesome ways to explore one’s own sexuality and can perhaps help someone overcome shame and sex negative attitudes, but you need to be realistic. You will never change the fundamentals of someone’s personality or libido and if that’s your hope your relationship probably has compatibility issues way deeper than what I can help you with.
Also consider that your girlfriend will probably not become a gooner overnight. The journey that led me to where I am was years in the making. Give her (and yourself) time to explore and become comfortable.
My advice would be to keep your expectations low. Hope for maybe one or two awkward nights of experimentation- then you can be pleasantly surprised if something more comes from it. 

Put Your Dick Away

No, but seriously. If this is going to work you are going to have to ignore your own sexual desires at first. Especially ones that may be extreme or taboo. You need to embrace that this process is not about you, it’s about her. What turns her on, how her body feels, and the emotions that may or may not come with it. It’s normal for you to be turned on and I’m not saying that you shouldn’t be, but don’t try to incorporate your own fetishes at this point. If she ends up enjoying edging you will have plenty of time for that stuff later.

Address Your Own Insecurities

One of my favorite phrases is “If you’re not ready to talk to your partner about sex, you’re not ready to have sex”. I think that applies especially to the topic at hand. If you already can’t bring yourself to talk about explicit topics with your girlfriend you are definitely not ready to spend hours together mutually masturbating. If this is a journey the two of you are taking together there will need to be considerable trust: trust that neither of you will judge, trust in the respect of both parties boundaries, and trust that you will both support each other during the highs and lows associated with this type of play.
On the topic of trust- NEVER discuss what goes on in your bedroom with your friends especially if your girlfriend is repressed. Unless you have permission to do so, airing her dirty laundry makes you an asshole- and one who does not even deserve to know the joys of gooning (BAM).

Be Upfront

Please do not conduct a science experiment on your girlfriend where you surreptitiously try to guide her into porn addiction and depravity. Talk to her about edging and gooning, don’t keep her in the dark. Your chances of coming off as a creep are way lower that way..

Find Out What “Triggers” Her

For those of you that may not know, a trigger is something that turns you on. This should be the first thing you try to figure out. Many women are ashamed of their sexualities and have been taught not to discuss it, so this may not be an easy conversation. Be patient and understanding. Try to reassure her that you aren’t judging and that this is a safe space for her to share.

Remember too, that most women are turned on more mentally than visually. If she truly has no idea where to start erotic stories, like the ones found on Literotica, are good idea. From there venture into to pornographic photos with stories attached or captioned images. Audio files are a good idea as well, there are recorded stories, hypnosis, or even ASMR that you may find effective. Videos and full length pornographic films should be introduced once she is comfortable with it and shows interest. 

Help Her Find The Point of No Return

Now that she has some help getting turned on the fun part starts! She needs to masturbate, however she likes. Encourage her to explore different techniques and with different toys, but go at her pace and don’t pressure her. It’s important that she pays close attention to her body during solo play so that she can learn what the signals are for an impending orgasm. There will be a lot of trial and error as she tries to find the point of no return (the point where you begin to orgasm and there is no stopping). Eventually, though, she will be able to tell when she is getting too close.
When she approaches the point of no return the easiest thing for her to do to stop an orgasm is to stop touching herself completely. As she experiments and learns her own limits she will find other tricks that will work like pinching a nipple, changing her breathing, or lessening the stimulation. Eventually she may begin to ride an edge longer and longer without stopping stimulation at all. 

Find Support

There are a growing number of communities out there dedicated to edging and gooning. Introduce her to some or send her my way for some recommendations! Oftentimes the best ideas and inspiration will come from other masturbators! 

Have Fun!

Try to keep this process as easygoing and enjoyable as possible. It shouldn’t be stressful, regimented, or uncomfortable. Slowly open up to each other about the kinks you have, and try to stay open minded along the way.

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