The Drop

There is something that can happen after a sexual experience, especially if it is an intense one, where you can feel a little…. well, sad. In the BDSM scene it’s called subdrop and in the sex therapy world its called postcoital dysphoria. I personally prefer to call this feeling simply “the drop” when speaking in terms of masturbation. The drop is the body’s natural response to an orgasm, where your heart rate gets lower, you relax, you feel tired. Hormones are released, such as oxytocin, vasopressin, and for men prolactin. Each of these are related to sleep in some way so it is only natural that we feel a sort of physical depression.

For some of us this is just the tip of how the drop affects us. This surge of chemicals can cause crying, melancholy, and even anxiety. Oftentimes this can be exacerbated by feelings of guilt or disgust in relation to the subject that got us off (see: intense/taboo pornography or fantasies).

If you are with a partner, this is where aftercare – cuddling, snacking, talking about what happened- comes into play. But since maturbation and gooning is such a solitary experience this has led me to the question… How do you give aftercare to yourself?


What you can do to quell this post-orgasm depression on your own:

  • Hydrate! Water makes everything in your body work better, but if you want you can also use juice to get a boost from sugar.
  • Distract yourself- put on your favorite movie, music, or song. Whatever you do don’t ruminate- save self reflection for a time when you are feeling your mental best.
  • Cuddle up- get yourself comfortable with pillows blankets, etc and just relax. I personally love my weighted blanket after an intense orgasm because it feels like a nice full body hug.
  • Set your expectations beforehand- if you are going to be edging yourself silly and denying your orgasm for months at a time, you need to expect that you will have a more intense drop. Get yourself mentally prepared for it, and it will be much easier to go through in the long run. And remember… you are experiencing one of the highest highs and that always comes with low lows.


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