No Nut November Week 2

If the first week was a a kindling flame, the second week was a raging furnace. In my pants.

Seriously, though, there was only one thought in my head this week and it was something along the lines of: Oh my GOD I am so turned on!

November 9-15th 2020

As every day passed I felt myself mentally slipping deeper and deeper down the rabbit hole of my own perversions. My normal triggers became even more hyperspecific and I felt myself becoming emotionally more open and vulnerable. At some points I felt euphoric love for pornography and the people around me that I’d trusted to come with me on this journey in denial.

Why cum?

One of the most interesting things that’s come about is how much I do NOT want to orgasm. This happened the last time I did long term denial, too. I find myself thinking often about how disappointing an orgasm is- just a few muscle spasms and it’s over. Sure there can sometimes be a lot of pleasure, but usually that is followed by a huge drop in energy level. Not worth it, when the alternative is this good.

I fantasize about never cumming again, instead letting ruined orgasms be by new relief. Ruined orgasms now feel like heaven to me. I’m honestly getting way too spoiled with them, so I am going to try to cut down to ruining only once a week.

The Throatgasm

Another BIG thing that has been resurfacing during this time is my oral fixation. I recently stumbled across two hippy sex coaches that were claiming that women, in specific circumstances, can have an orgasm with their throat. There is nothing to prove that the throatgasm is a real thing, although there are some interesting theories about the vagus nerve. But did my dopamine fried brain care about science and facts?

No.

I have become obsessed with the idea of my throat cumming. Since my pussy doesn’t orgasm anymore, doesn’t it only make sense that my throat should? Every day I “masturbate” my throat with a long soft dildo, gently relaxing around it while I rub myself.

Sometimes I do everything I can to make sure its a pleasant experience, to train my brain that it’s pleasurable to be filled in that way. If I gag, I make sure to edge, and any movements are delicate and comfortable, never pushing any boundaries.

Other times it’s more rough and messy, I choke and gag around a toy, coughing up saliva onto my own face ( a practice that I will now call throat cumming). Taking pictures and of myself while I ride the high of my oxgyen deprivation makes me feel pretty.

Will I actually throatgasm? I guess time is the only way to tell.

The Stats

So far this month I have:

Edged 398 times
Masturbated for an average of 3 hours a day
Ruined 6 times
Masturbated the most to cocksucking, the thought of disclosing my masturbation habits, and throatbating
Used my Lush 2 vibrator the most