How I Got My First Vibrator in Front of 100 People

At the ripe age of 18, I had never even considered owning a vibrator. I was a theatre major in my first year at a public college. We were doing a weekend showing of The Vagina Monologues and I was responsible for operating one of the light boards. At this time in my life I was extremely shy about sex and sexuality, it was just something that was NOT talked about in my house. I never even got the sex talk, so to hear the word vagina so often had me blushing from the start.

This is to say nothing of the vendors that partnered with the arts department for our show. There were vagina themed products EVERYWHERE. Cupcakes, necklaces, and hats were all set up in pretty little rows proudly showing off their labias and clitorises. One company was a seller of sex toys and audience members could buy tickets for a raffle to win one of their many different types of vibrators, dildos, and male masturbators. What I didn’t know at the time was that the show’s crew was automatically entered into this raffle every night.

The first two nights went off without a hitch and I began to get more at ease with the sexual nature of the event. That is, until the third night. We got through the first half of the show followed by an intermission, which I signalled was coming to a close by flashing the house lights gently. This was also the cue for the final raffle to begin. The woman climbed up onto the stage and reached into a large clear container filled with folded papers. She pulled out a sheet, unfolded it, and read out my name. “Congratulations, Emma Lilly! Come on up here and claim your prize!”

My face was blazing red as I left the light booth and made my way down the aisle. I was practically running, as if I went fast enough the packed house of audience members wouldn’t see me. I barely remember getting on stage and grabbing the toy, not even looking at it before turning on my heel and retreating back to safety. I shoved it in my purse and didn’t even look at what I’d won. I was MORTIFIED.

After the show all my friends working with me congratulated me, giggling and cracking jokes to one another. “Well, are you going to use it?” one of them asked. “No way!” I said, “I don’t even masturbate.” This was a lie. Obviously. I have been a dedicated masturbator from the moment I learned I could. For some reason, even though everyone around me was totally fine with breeching the subject of sex and self pleasure, I wasn’t able to have that level of vulnerability. I changed the subject as fast as I could and we went about striking the set.

A few days later I was finally brave enough to check out what I’d won. It was a little pink bullet vibrator, almost like an egg attached to a controller by a cheap wire. Hidden in my bathroom, I leaned up against the door and pressed it against myself over the clothes. I clicked on the power and felt the slight vibration. Oh my god I thought to myself, I have won the jackpot.

Quickly I pulled off my jeans and sat myself down on the toilet seat. I made sure the fan was on so no prying ears would hear the buzz. With one hand holding the bullet against my clit and the other on the remote, I cycled through all the standard vibration patterns before finding one I liked. On the highest setting, the strong constant vibration had me orgasming in seconds.

A few minutes later I was laid in my bed, basking in the afterglow. I couldn’t believe something so amazing just fell into my lap. Little did I know that this was just the beginning of a sex toy obsession that would only grow stronger with every year that passed.